Standing in the rain
I lean against my fortress,
The building that once
Stood so tall
Now falling to
The ruins of the world.
I hear the splatter of the rain
on the stone,
The rain
And my tears
As I crumble
Amongst this rubble
of my fortress.
My cry
Stretches to the sky,
The dark clouds
Embracing the black tears,
Releasing the fears
Of a fallen fortress.
And I pray
For the light
Pray for the warmth,
Pray for the day
My fortress again
Stands tall.
I would like to know who built your fortress?
ReplyDeleteWas it you or someone else?
You don't have to answer.
I'm just contemplating your poem.
Good job.
Powerful words pulling one forth to the fortress, appreciating in glory.
ReplyDeleteRelatable, stark (images, emotional content, blah blah blah), uber-effective. Perfect.
ReplyDeletecry stretched to the sky, your fortress stand tall again...love the ending...
ReplyDeleteHappy Wednesday.
Cheers!
xxx
great write;)
ReplyDeleteLots of 'rainy' One Shots this week. Nice job, Laura!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this, great pic too. Some powerful imagery there.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Luke @ WordSalad
Your words are moving and I enjoy your flow. You have a great eye for pictures too! I love the main one on your profile and the one you chose for this piece. Beautiful sweetness... ♥
ReplyDeleteNice allegory. Worked with purpose. Great job!
ReplyDeleteInteresting metaphor when one's pain and tears have torn down all the defenses and left you standing in the rain praying for sustenance and strength. I've been there. I guess we all have. Well written. Enjoyed it. Thank you, Gay @beachanny
ReplyDeleteIt really is quite sad to see one's pillar of strengths fall to ruins...
ReplyDeleteI really like the symbolism in this poem, Laura... you've done a beautiful job at picturing that downfall and the little glint of hope towards the end.. very nice indeed!
Very powerful one.. how beautifully you have compared a fortress with your idol or may be your self determination!!
ReplyDeleteI would want to believe the 2nd one.. :)
Very well done.. I like the last line putting in a Ray of Hope just in time..
Love xx
Thank you so very much for your participation at Jingle Poetry potluck... with the solid support you give to us, we are able to keep going in the coming weeks.
ReplyDeleteBlessings fly your way, hope you well. Look forward to seeing you again.
Always, your talent is recognized, keep writing.
Cheers!
xoxox
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/11/november-greetings-appreciations.html
ReplyDeleteSpecial awards for you. Happy Sunday! xx
Hope to see you at our potluck tonight.
loved your contribution at Jingle Poetry!