Beaten and Broken

Beaten
Broken
I'm on the
ground again
wondering why I
continue to stand
screaming each time
in pain
as my bones
break back
into place so
I can stand
only to be broken
again and again
back on the ground
crying of what
I have become.

Too Many Wishes

Too many wishes
on too many nights
waiting for your
warm touch
to soften
my icy soul
yearning fi
something that
I can't give myself.
Every night I'm
still alone
all alone in the cold
wondering why
you come
at all.
I watch the door
hoping to hear
your step
hoping you knock
to over come
my fear.
I wonder on
too many nights
where you
actually are
wondering if I'm
even a thoughts
of you are
helping me to
finally breathe
causing total fear
that you will
again walk away
but this time
I fear I will
not care
as I constantly wait
each night
for your warmth
to soften
my icy soul.

Debating Thoughts

Angry thoughts
torment me
controlling my very being
tearing me apart
ripping into
until I am
two separate beings
unsure of what
I think or know
bouncing from being
to being
struggling with my thoughts
debating on which
side should win
fearing that the
anger will win.

I Have

I have been
looking everywhere
for something
that is right
in front of me
never realizing,
what you were
or what you
could be.
I have passed
the days wondering
why you are still here
in my crazy world,
constantly wondering
why you came back
never tearing down
my walls
but reaching through
my covered veil.
I have wasted
the days away
fighting with you
to keep you
from crossing the veil,
picking fights
that even I do not
know the reason to,
while being angry with you
without any reason
only terrified
of the emotions
you arise in me
that could lead
to happiness.
I have wondered
many days
if this is something
that I really
feel that I need
to be saved from,
so I can be alone
always alone
weeping for something
that I don't have
deluding myself that
this is happiness.
I have pushed
you away many days
terrified of you
stepping past my veil
revealing me
to be vulnerable
to you
craving your touch,
again wondering
why you are still here
and if I still have you.

Did You Think

Did you think
that it would be easy
to tear me
to rip me
breaking me
to beg for your mercy.
Did you think
that you could crush me
slowly destroy me
without consequence
believing that you
had control by
by squeezing me until
I fell to your lead
while deluding yourself
that I was your puppet
on strings
that you could
pull anytime.
Did you think
that these memories
would linger with me
forever haunting my
every waking moment
for eternity
until I was hollow inside.
Did you honestly think
that I would
never fight back
or stand each time
you would strike
again and again
until my soul heals
and you are destroyed.

Sorrows

Sorrows
overcome
tears
to dry
hearts
are numb
souls
broken
monsters
to die
rotting
in dirt.

#28daysofwriting

Shelter

I've found shelter
under my covers
laying in the dark
finding comfort
in your pillow
which I hold
here in the dark.
Tears can
no longer form
on this night
and maybe it
will be better
with the light on
but I refuse to move
as I cuddle
to your pillow
under the covers
eyes closing for sleep
wishing you were here
as I pray
for them not
to haunt me
in the night.