I stand
at the center
of the earth
knowing that I must
be stuck in your curse
for I can't see
what has disappeared
or what will reappear
nor can my thoughts
of you become clear
but I can conclude
that I know
you must go.
Hand on the
cold glass
I can see
myself on
the other side
lauging,
smiling,
living,
while I cry
on the other side
desperately needing
the other side
but the glass
does not bend
nor break
against my repeated
beats,
kicks,
screams,
as I continue
to watch
myself on
the other side
laughing,
always laughing,
always happy,
while I fall
on the other side
crying against the glass
that will never bend
nor break
but always
stand between me
tormenting the screams
as I beat
the glass
holding me
between two worlds
cold against
my plams
as I desperately
try to get
to the other side.
#28daysofwriting poem 4
The picture is from a shared site.
The light
is calling me
to the window
as I peek
into the night,
hand pressed
to the cold glass
feeling the need
to call
pulling me out,
out of sleep
out of dreams
to the glass
under the light
holding me there
under the moon
under the light,
the need
holds me.
Lips soft
are red
with wine
as they continue
to drink
until they
no longer crave
the need
drinking until the
last sip
in the cup
stains the lips
while the tongue
licks it off.
I have patiently
waited for the moon
to again rise
peeking into my windows
in the night
as I dream.
I can feel
the days getting shorter
watching the moon
transform each night
into different shapes
feeling it's power
getting stronger
calling me
in the cool night
to stand in the moonlight
as it rises full again.
I see the
rising sun peeking
over the horizon
bathing me as I stare
into the light blinking
feeling its warmth,
while holding the light
I await the rain.
I see behind th sun
the dark clouds rolling
waiting for the storm
to finally come,
to bathe me
cleansing the dirt
until my sight
has become blurred,
I await the rain.
Bump...bump....bump
comes the distant sound
against the corners
of my skull,
which I ignore
until it rings
deep into my core
breaking me
waking me
until I can't take
anymore,
it rings
again and again
bump...bump...bump
with time in sand
bump...bump...bump
so far away
but ringing so loud
bump...bump...bump
into worlds apart
I still know it's
your heart.
The body
is laid
down to sleep
in the dirt
where it has decayed,
weep not
for the life no more
weep not
for the hole
it has tore,
for this body
has went to sleep
dying from this world
to rise, to reap
into a new life
that it has bore.
I have again
fallen to your
lies and deceit
torturing myself
over and over
with your words
that I want
to believe
but they tear
through me
ripping away
my truth
only to leave
a dark void
that are your
words.
Eyes closed
I dream
into a world
that only dreams
can create
and as my
bare feet run
through the cool greass
I lift my arms
into the wind
only to soar
into consciousness.
I feel the rain
dripping in my soul
awakening the beauty
hidden inside
breaking through
the disguise
embarking
embracing
the power in
the wind
to be the true
woman inside.
She sleeps
in the night
soundly, silently,
awaiting for a
moment in sleep
that dreams
become dreams,
to float away
in the wind
where she caresses
on her skin
the flowers of her bed,
where she lies
to never wake
until she is dead.
She places wine
to her lips
drinking the essence
into blood
of life
that slowly drips
from her lips
into the dirt
blending with the earth
that binds
the blood and wine
into one
birthing serenity
into eternity.
Dark clouds
slowly disperse
revealing a soft glow
from a round
rimmed moon
bathing her
in moonlight
as she lies
in the dark water
floating down
the river
letting the moon
wrap around
her naked body
as she slowly
becomes numb
waiting for the warmth
on the other side.
After the storm
my body is broken
rising with a
bruised soul
as a war rages
on behind me
exploding in flames
blazing in the fires
of a world that
that is burning
sending its heat
to reach out to me
unable to touch me
screaming in anger
as I walk on
leaving it behind
to melt
with the destruction
of a world
I no longer know
but fought through
as it bruised me
breaking my body
but I'm still standing
after the storm
I'm still standing.
Run, run, run
away,
needing to keep
faith alive,
but I toss it
away
needing to be
strong
but I'm not so
strong,
can't face it
can't live it
can't be it.
Run, run, run
away,
needing to keep
you here,
but I fear it
constantly
needing to feel
you,
but I'm not so
strong
to face you
to feel you
to have you.
The air
breathes slowly
gasping as I wake,
I inhale
to reach for you
in the night.
The air
freezes in my lungs
as time slowly
comes to a stop,
I'm unable to breathe
as I face
the reality that
you are not here.
I close my eyes
to vision a dream
to hold onto,
for I again see him
standing by the tree
the leaves
crowning him.
He is whispering
as I reach,
and atlas
I fall
reality crashing in
as I fear hopelessness.
Your smile
has become
my poison,
your touch
my curse
for I fear
my demise
in your presence.
I can no
longer sacrifice
my soul
to you
nor leave you
my beating heart,
for I must rise
I must breathe
to finally see
for I can not
be blind.
I'm freezing
numb to the wind
never noticing
the cold air
trickling up my legs
slowly.....slowly
turning my skin
into ice
seizing me with
a fear in my core
that my soul
can not be saved,
only to be forever
frozen without warmth
afraid to move
afraid to take
one little step,
for fear that
my body
will shatter.
Beaten
Broken
I'm on the
ground again
wondering why I
continue to stand
screaming each time
in pain
as my bones
break back
into place so
I can stand
only to be broken
again and again
back on the ground
crying of what
I have become.
Too many wishes
on too many nights
waiting for your
warm touch
to soften
my icy soul
yearning fi
something that
I can't give myself.
Every night I'm
still alone
all alone in the cold
wondering why
you come
at all.
I watch the door
hoping to hear
your step
hoping you knock
to over come
my fear.
I wonder on
too many nights
where you
actually are
wondering if I'm
even a thoughts
of you are
helping me to
finally breathe
causing total fear
that you will
again walk away
but this time
I fear I will
not care
as I constantly wait
each night
for your warmth
to soften
my icy soul.
Angry thoughts
torment me
controlling my very being
tearing me apart
ripping into
until I am
two separate beings
unsure of what
I think or know
bouncing from being
to being
struggling with my thoughts
debating on which
side should win
fearing that the
anger will win.
I have been
looking everywhere
for something
that is right
in front of me
never realizing,
what you were
or what you
could be.
I have passed
the days wondering
why you are still here
in my crazy world,
constantly wondering
why you came back
never tearing down
my walls
but reaching through
my covered veil.
I have wasted
the days away
fighting with you
to keep you
from crossing the veil,
picking fights
that even I do not
know the reason to,
while being angry with you
without any reason
only terrified
of the emotions
you arise in me
that could lead
to happiness.
I have wondered
many days
if this is something
that I really
feel that I need
to be saved from,
so I can be alone
always alone
weeping for something
that I don't have
deluding myself that
this is happiness.
I have pushed
you away many days
terrified of you
stepping past my veil
revealing me
to be vulnerable
to you
craving your touch,
again wondering
why you are still here
and if I still have you.
Did you think
that it would be easy
to tear me
to rip me
breaking me
to beg for your mercy.
Did you think
that you could crush me
slowly destroy me
without consequence
believing that you
had control by
by squeezing me until
I fell to your lead
while deluding yourself
that I was your puppet
on strings
that you could
pull anytime.
Did you think
that these memories
would linger with me
forever haunting my
every waking moment
for eternity
until I was hollow inside.
Did you honestly think
that I would
never fight back
or stand each time
you would strike
again and again
until my soul heals
and you are destroyed.
I've found shelter
under my covers
laying in the dark
finding comfort
in your pillow
which I hold
here in the dark.
Tears can
no longer form
on this night
and maybe it
will be better
with the light on
but I refuse to move
as I cuddle
to your pillow
under the covers
eyes closing for sleep
wishing you were here
as I pray
for them not
to haunt me
in the night.
I arise
looking below
at a girl crying
screaming with
an anger
she can not control.
I watch her
as she moves
as she destroys
wondering what
and who
she is
for her soul
is dying.
How can I
tell her to
subside her anger
to live
and not hate
how can I
stop her pain.
I slowly
approach the girl
hand stretched out
to help her
but freeze as
she looks up
at me
as I look
at myself.
In the calm
of the night
I see a little light
dancing.....dancing
bouncing through
the darken trees
tumbling, tumbling
into the night
beckoning for me
to follow
into the trees
the wind brushing
past me
pushing me forward
into the clearing
with burning fires
their shadows
flickering across
the trees
as they bend
swaying in the wind
back and forth
moving with the beat
the beat
of my dancing feet
in circles
in circles
around the fire
blazing up into
the night sky
revealing a round moon
behind the clouds
glowing down
into my open hands
palms up
head back
I howl.
Awake to
the rising sun
rise to the song
of time
to bathe in the
waters of light
until the body
hurts no more.
fall sleep
to the moon's
deep glow
dream of the
days ago
and in the night
we will fear
no more
awaiting the new day
to soar.
A candle light
dances around a room
flickering through
the shadows
as she slowly stands
glowing in the light.
The night descends
as she steps out
into the darkness
catching the moon
rising above
towering over her
with its light.
She lays down
in the dirt
closing her eyes
from the past
behind her
embracing the
soft wind rippling
through her hair
she sleeps.
Rain slowly drips
on green leaves
soaking red lips
in a sip
of earth and wine
from a cup
that is thine
but slowly to be mine
in mortal kiss
under the dark sky
where the rain drips
from lip to lip
shedding a life within
into the sea
circling in sin
with the wind
into eternity.