Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Beauty In Me

This is a poem that I have been working on. Let me know your thoughts

Stand still
Watch the shadows appear
Blasting through
These continuing tears.
Have you stood
long enough
in my darkness
Have you seen enough
to hold my light?
Stand with me
to fight the shadows
fight with me
and I'll never forsake you
Blindly see
through my tears
and you will find
the Beauty in me.
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7 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    this is striking....from first word to last, it keeps you holding on...I wouldnt change a thing.

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  2. Laura LynnMay 4, 2011 at 6:28 PM

    Thanks David!

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  3. Brian MillerMay 4, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    nice...love looking through your tears to see the beauty in you...there is a great truth in that...i will take a different tact than david...let this germinate a bit...if then you think it is done then it is...i think you can still play it out a bit...

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  4. ayalaMay 5, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    This is honest and raw and lovely!

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  5. Laura LynnMay 5, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    I think I agree Brian. It isn't finished. I feel it needs more

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  6. SheilaMay 7, 2011 at 7:11 AM

    I like it. but are you are holding back? Let it all come out and then trim it up...

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  7. AnonymousMay 20, 2011 at 11:05 PM

    I like it ! You can play and play with poems [and that's good for some people] my view [on my poems] is to write them in the moment - if you're happy with them when you've finished then let it be - another poem another day can maybe expand - that's just my humble opinion - lovely poem Laura :)

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