I couldn't stop
the world from breaking
the earth from bleeding.
I wanted you
to turn away
so you couldn't see
the darkness in me.
I wanted to push
you away
so you couldn't hear
me and the nonsense
I tend to speak,
but I couldn't stop
you from coming.
I couldn't stop
the tears
from breaking me,
strengthening me.
I couldn't stop
the shadows
as they fed upon me
ripping everything away.
I wanted to beg
the Lord
to send you away
to stop you;
but I couldn't stop
from wanting you,
so I couldn't beg
and I couldn't stop
you from coming.
How can you
look upon a
fallen angel
a woman who
couldn't stop
her world
from breaking,
her soul
from bleeding.
I fear what you
will see in me,
seeing something that
will make you
walk away
but I can't stop,
I can't stop,
the need for you
and I yearn for you
giving in
to everything that is you
and I couldn't
and I won't
stop you from coming.
that same risk could mean that he sees something in you that he likes...if we had to have it all together for things to work...we would all die unmarried and celibate...smiles.
ReplyDeleteThis is true. Good to see you again Brian!
ReplyDeletefelt fear here..the angst and inner fight to let someone come too close because we don't want them see all the mess inside..but if we risk, worlds can open..
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is our deep and most spiritually algined instincts that force us forward in the face of fear. We push us forward despite ourselves and our objections. Very well written!
ReplyDeleteYou have done a nice job here of bringing us into your anxieties. I think I'd like to see more of him whom you have so much to say. He would bring out the concrete nature of your emotions.
ReplyDelete